...so...
warning: i'm about to be kind of cryptic, so i apologize ahead of time.
i'm not real sure where to go with any of this. there are things in my life that need tending to, and i can't keep putting them off. decisions have to be made, and, well, no...really just one decision has to be made, and i as i sit here, having had a really good evening/night, it's eating at me; speaking, whispering in my ear, scratching at my brain.
i don't know what to do.
i just want things to be...something more than just ok. definitely something better than bad.
i just don't know how to get there.
maybe i do, and i just can't admit it to myself. at least outside of certain settings.
in other news, i need to lose weight. seriously. so i've started keeping a food journal, and tracking all that bad crap that i eat so that i can start eating healthier, and be held accountable for what and how much i do eat. i do eat too much. i get bored and so i will go graze in the kitchen instead of going and finding something productive to do. that needs to stop. i'm very hard on myself when it comes to this, as my weight tends to fluctuate dramatically over time. but right now i'm at the heaviest i've ever been, and that's just not ok.
that's all i got for now.
'til then...
- xian
No comments:
Post a Comment