under pressure...

i've been struggling lately to find words.

words, sentences, writing; none of these have ever been a problem for me. i can write right up there with the best of them so i'm not used to this kind of thing happening. i don't know what to do when words fail me. it makes me feel even more lost than i already feel.

my brain is just too much lately, and at times i can't tell dream state or hallucinations from reality. i'm on a new medicine, a new anti-psychotic, that i take along with the one i was already on, but i've only been on it for three days now, and the only thing it's doing is making me nauseous. my psych said that nausea is normal, but it really sucks all the same time.

i'm so tired all the time. even today, i slept until 5p.m. and still, here i sit almost dozing off as i write this. caffeine is my best friend. i don't have any meds to help wake me up, just ones that assist me in conking out.

i'm not sure where i was going with all of this. i've lost my train of thought and can't concentrate enough to get it back. i guess that's it for now.

'til then...

- xian