april 2014???

i didn't realize how long it has been since i last posted anything on here.

well first i should say that i am doing much better. my meds finally got all sorted out, and i have a pdoc that actually cares about and listens to me. no more exploding head as of the past two months, so that's great! the only thing i really deal with now on a semi-day by day basis, is my paranoia. but that's easily managed with anxiety meds, so i really feel no threat there. i do still find myself getting down on myself for having to take so many medications just in order to keep up with the rest of the world's "normal". it sucks, but i have to do what i have to do in order to live my life to the best possible outcome.

now lately i've been reading some posts on facebook, from people i know, and from news media and politicians alike, that really have my blood boiling. i  get so angry about this because i hate it when people are misinformed, or feel the need to lecture the rest of us on how we're supposed to live and what we're supposed to believe in.

i have absolutely no qualms when it comes to freedom of speech, however i do feel that there are people out there that abuse this right to forward their own selfish agendas, or to talk down to the rest of us just in order to feel better about themselves. don't get me wrong, i fully enjoy friendly debates over why one this is the way it is, and isn't for another reason. but these people that i speak of take it too far. when it stops being a discussion, and starts being a lecture, you've at that point discounted anything the other person has said, in a way that makes it seem as though what they bring to the  table is unimportant.

i don't know, without starting to lecture myself, that's just the way i see it. why can't we just all be open for discussion instead of things being either black or white? red or blue?

just a thought.

til then,
-xian